You cannot resist fate and you will suffer if you try. To reject your True Will and your destiny is to swim into a riptide, thrashing until you drown into the stormy depths, instead of accepting surrender and being safely pulled out to sea. You have to submit, to give in. This lesson is the antithesis of the modern world, where we believe we can choose our own destiny. The thought that we have a path we must find, instead of one that we select, is terrorizing. We crave control, we crave to master our own universe, but we are fools in the face of fate. Fate is beyond us.
We fear time. Women spend thousands of dollars on surgeries and cosmetic products to avoid it. Young adults cry late at night when they realize they hold mature responsibilities. The elderly are full of regrets and fear. Time is existential, vast, and a horror. The way that the clock ticks, the sand falls down the hourglass, and the wheel of samsara continues to spin is terrifying. We want to be egotists, we want the world to revolve around us, for our lives to be the sole point of significance, and fate reminds us that this is a lie. Before us, there will be millions, and after us, there will be millions more. From dust we were born and to dust we shall return. The sands of time will annihilate us all.
True Will is rooted within a paradigm of destiny. The notion of True Will, or a specific path that you are meant to follow in order to get closer to the Godhead and reach the summits of gnosis, is contingent on this type of concept. Of course, one can reject his True Will, which is part of the beautiful interplay of determinism and free will, a divine contradiction that can only be understood after a lot of contemplation, but what happens then? A man who rejects his True Will has opted into slavery and misery. Our True Will is what brings us joy, fulfillment, and gnosis. When you accept it, and surrender to fate, you are able to live a life where no matter how much adversity you face, you will not fall into despair.
Despair is not a mere emotion, it is a spiritual condition. Within the Christian tradition, despair is defined as someone who is so lost in sin that they commit the only unforgivable sin—they detest themselves so much that they believe that even Jesus, with all his sacrifices, could not forgive them. Of course, to believe this is a reaction of all of that religion, and is apostasy. Outside of Christianity, in the Sufi tradition, despair is described as a spiritual disease of the heart, a metaphysical plague that eats away at the body and soul. It is a horrible place to be. A prison. A place worse than the most ruthless hells in the world religions—a place without divinity. Pure darkness. Even the abyss in Thelema, or da’at, contains the light of divinity, and by tending to that flame, the magus, in his path across the abyss and towards the supernal triad, is able to evade being consumed and destroyed by the shaitan Chronozon. If a man remains in alignment with his True Will, in even the worst conditions, he is safe from despair.
In many cases, finding the True Will is quite challenging, even painful. After all, to accept Will is to reject Want. Many foolish occultists and critics of the idea argue that there is no difference between these things. They simplify it, to the point where it is lost, even negated—to Will is to Want. To do what you want all the time, no consideration for what that means for your long-term prosperity or for the other people around you. This is a lie. A dangerous lie. If your True Will is your divine purpose, your destiny, and to accept it, you must reject everything else, it is inherently restrictive. It is perhaps the most restrictive thing possible. To remain steadfast in your path, you must constantly be examining your consciousness, constantly asking what your Will is, and constantly staying on the course. This course will bring you joy, will bring you gnosis, but it is hard. We often desire what is not good for us. As small children want candy and not broccoli, we often want metaphorical candy and not metaphorical broccoli. Fulfilling our needs is what matters, but rejecting those tempting wants, now that is hard.
When someone is new to esotericism, they are often in a bad place. Our postmodern world is not built for spiritual thriving. At each and every turn there is agony, dangerous advice, and subversion. It is not an ideal time for thriving. It is only normal that people fall victim to the world and enter into murky waters. To escape this, they yearn for divinity, so they approach the mysteries. This is brave and beautiful. To make the choice to reject your current way of life and strive for something higher, when it is far easier to remain miserable, is commendable. Since most people are not aligned with their True Will at this point, they have to metaphysically die, then be reborn. This is why most religious conversion ceremonies and initiations play off the perennial cycle—the wheel of time: life, death, and rebirth.
It is horrifying to accept this cycle and go through it. When you begin your spiritual journey, your life often changes rapidly. Many people have to face their shadow, face the abyss, and carry the lantern of hope and love for the gods through the dark night. Then, on the other side, they emerge reborn—clothed in the gold luster of the Sun. They make the alchemical journey from Saturn to Sun, from purgation to purification. It is, to our neophyte minds, madness. To know that you have to suffer to be purified feels deranged. In a culture where the first response to suffering is to numb the pain, to smoke marijuana, to work until you forget, and to do everything in your power to dissociate from the reality that is not serving you feels crazy. But you must do it. It feels like being caught in the riptide, with every cell in your body wanting you to swim against it, to thrash and try, but your higher sense, your intellectual mind, knowing that you must surrender, submit.
To escape the riptide, you have to let go. You have to float on your back and watch yourself go away from the shore. The sands of normalcy disappear from your vision as you end up miles out at sea. It is submission. The concept of submission is a foreign one to most people, only brought up in the context of eros. However, submission is more than that, much more. At times, we must release our ego and submit to divinity. We have to let go and let the gods guide us. In this moment, we must float. Our initial journey towards True Will begins with reaching out to the gods and floating. It takes a brave person to be able to release their desire to control everything and submit to the gods, submit to a process, and let it happen.
In entheogenic practices, when psychedelic drugs are used, many people suffer because they cannot release. If you are in your body, fighting the experience, and not letting it take you through the vision it wants to provide, what happens? As secular people call it, “a bad trip”. Of course, mysticism is far more complex than this, but it still holds as a good comparison, one that many can relate to. You have to let go, accept the experience, and stop resisting. The path of least resistance is to surrender, to accept fate.
Fate, as horrific as it is, is at the same time quite beautiful. As witches often say, blessing and bane grow on the same branch. As much as datura can murder you, it also can save your life from extreme seasickness. Fate is a light in the darkness. It grounds us and takes us where we need to go. If we never accepted fate, and never allowed change to happen, we would be stagnant. Stagnancy is worse than death, as even the worst form of death, allows for rebirth. To never change is to be frozen, lost. It a spiritual disease of the heart in its own right. We must accept change, accept time, and understand that the wheel is always turning. The key is to not waste your time fearing and fighting the turning, but instead embrace the cycle, and let it transmute you into something better.
-GR
P.S.! This is a short excerpt from a rough draft manuscript I am writing! I am creating something quite different than a simple beginner book. I hope this gives you some insight into what it might be. I hope to have it self-published by the end of 2025. Hopefully this will be in it, though likely quite edited. May Janus bless me with the strength and insight to complete this project.
This is awesome!
DE ARTE VOLUPTATE DILEMMA QUAEDAM
(A certain Dilemma concerning the Art of Pleasure)
There is a named Objection, o my Son, to our Thesis concerning Will that it should flow freely in its Way: vide licet, that for such as I am it is well, because I am endowed by Nature with a Lust insatiable in every Kind, so that the Universe itself seemeth incapable to appease it. For I have poured myself out unceasingly, in Bodily Passion, and in Battles with Men, and with Wild Beasts, and with Mountains and Deserts, and in Poetry and other Writings of the Musick of mine Imagination, and in Books of our own Mysteries, and in Works Magical, and so forth, so that in Mine Age I am become verily a Slave to mine own Genius; and my Law is that unless I sleep or create, my Soul is sick, and fain to claim the Reward and the Recreation of my Death. But (I hear thee say it) this is not the Case of All, or even of many, Men; but their Act of Will is satisfied easily at its first Guerdon. Should not then their Wisdom be to resist themselves for a Space, as Water heaped up by a Dam gathereth Force, and Hunger feedeth upon Abstinence? Also, there is that which I have written in a former Chapter of the right Use of Discipline; and thirdly, this free Flowing is without Subtility of Art, as it were an Harlot that plucketh Men by the Sleeve.
Restraint of Discipline is a Fortification of the Will by Repose and by Preparation, as a Conqueror resteth his Armies, and feedeth them, and looketh to their Furniture and to their Spirit, before he joineth the Battle. Also, there is the Restraint of Art, which includeth that other of Discipline, and its Nature is to adorn the Will and to admire its Strength and its Beauty, and to enjoy its Victory by Anticipation in full Confidence, not fearful of Time that robbeth them that are ignorant concerning him, how he is but Mirage and Illusion, incapable to besiege the Fortress of the Soul.
Work thou thy Will, as I said aforetime by the Mouth of Eliphas Levi Zahed, knowing thyself Omnipotent, and thine Habitation Eternity. O my Son, attend well this Word, for it is an Heirloom, and a Ring of Ruby and Emerald in thine Inheritance.